Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
