maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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