Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's blow job season.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
