Apparently you make a good broom.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
