I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
