woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
