he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
