dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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