Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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