she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
