you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
