Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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