4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There r osticjed everywhere
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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