Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We got so high we made milksteak
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
