Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
