I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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