don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize