Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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