Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
