but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
