It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
