You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
