You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
