so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Randomize
