can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Fuck appropriateness.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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