I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
