Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
