i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
