Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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