Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
