I'm so fucking centered right now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
