soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
