I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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