420 ftw
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
