i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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