thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
