Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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