i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
