I am puke
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
