What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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