Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
