I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
