wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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