You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
