I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
