I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
