my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize