I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
