he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
