it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
