i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
