It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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