guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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