I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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