We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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