I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize