Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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