She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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