Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize