Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
