Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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