Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
