Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
