forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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